Upload memories for 10 years, build a business, grow a community — then lose everything because an algorithm detected suspicious breathing patterns.
Appeals reviewed by another AI that also doesn't know what happened.
Human beings available for support worldwide.
Average time required for AI to destroy a decade-old account.
Emotional damage caused to innocent creators.
Our revolutionary punishment infrastructure ensures maximum confusion and minimum transparency.
Our systems confidently identify violations that never happened using state-of-the-art hallucination engines.
Delete years of work in milliseconds. Perfect for creators and small businesses.
Humans are expensive. Randomized algorithms are not.
Submit appeals directly into the digital void where they will be ignored forever.
Our AI works 24/7 to protect the community from harmless users.
Dear creators,
At Instagram, we believe in empowering creators, supporting communities,
and occasionally deleting years of someone's hard work because our AI detected
“suspicious activity” after they logged in from the same phone they've used since 2019.
Every single day, thousands of innocent users wake up to discover that their accounts
have been suspended, disabled, locked, restricted, shadowbanned, or thrown into a digital volcano
for reasons that remain completely unknown to both them and us.
Many of these users are artists, photographers, editors, meme pages,
small businesses, students, musicians, or people who literally did nothing wrong
except exist near our moderation system.
Naturally, when these users appeal,
our advanced infrastructure immediately sends them into a beautifully optimized loop
of automated emails, verification forms, endless loading screens,
and emotional exhaustion.
Some users mistakenly believe a human being reviews these appeals.
We deeply appreciate their optimism.
Our AI moderation technology is powered by cutting-edge machine learning,
random guesses, unexplained confidence spikes,
and whatever the algorithm dreamt about at 3 AM.
This allows us to maintain our industry-leading innocent-user banning accuracy,
while actual scammers, bots, spam networks,
crypto giveaway accounts,
and comment-section psychopaths continue operating freely with verified badges.
Innovation matters.
We also understand concerns regarding transparency.
That is why we proudly refuse to explain which guideline was violated,
how it was violated,
when it was violated,
or whether anything was violated at all.
Providing explanations could create clarity,
and clarity directly opposes our company values.
To improve the user experience,
we are continuously investing in new technologies including AI-generated appeal denials, Automated emotional damage scaling, Shadowban-as-a-Service™, Invisible reach suppression, Confidence scores generated entirely at random , Human support elimination initiatives, “We Care About Creators” PR tweet generators and much more.
We remain fully committed to supporting creators,
especially emotionally,
from a distance,
without actually helping them in any measurable way.
If your account was disabled unfairly,
please remember:
Your frustration is important to us.
Your appeal is under review.
Your ticket number means nothing.
And your decade of memories may already be gone forever.
Thank you for continuing to trust a platform
that occasionally treats innocent users like international cybercriminals
for uploading cat videos and sunset reels.
Warm regards,
CEO of Absolutely Nothing™
Head of Automated Disappointment
Instagram Support Experience Division™
Decoding official Instagram communication.
If your innocent account was suspended while actual scammers roam freely, maybe it's time to leave a review.
Your appeal was denied automatically.